I came across this article the other day and after I read it, it really struck home how my DS relationship with my baby girl really has made us stronger. I want to analyze the 5 points and talk about how DS helps avoid those pitfalls, but first, let me share the article so you can read it.
Let’s look at this one by one:
1. Living outside of what you can afford
This to me almost sem like a no-brainer, however, let’s look. I do know some women out there who seem to like to spend money like it’s their business and never check with their husbands. Jewelry, luxuries, clothes, etc.
In our DS relationship, permission is always asked before she may buy anything, with the only exception being groceries and prescriptions. Baby Girl is a rather thrifty woman anyway, but this allows me to keep track of what is being spent to make sure it is not over budget.
2. Constant negativity
Yes, a lot of women like to bitch. Sorry ladies but it’s true. Not that I’m always against it, but sometimes I just am tired. With our DS, it gives Baby Girl something to focus on. Me. That tends to take away the negativity for her and there isn’t anything to fix because our relationship puts the positive in her life.
3. Putting everything else first
I have many friends who are not living the DS life and I see some of the problems they have. Some of their complaints. A few of my friends talk to me about how their wives don’t do anything for them…even when they so a lot of things for their wives. Life is full of distractions. Kids, jobs, etc. Ever hear about how a couple says they’ve grown apart? Yeah. This is why.
In our relationship, Baby Girl can’t do that. If she did, there would be no DS. I come first to her as her Daddy. She is always striving to make sure that I have what I need. I get served food before anyone. She makes sure I’m well taken care of. The funny thing is, that even though we have kids, it doesn’t leave them behind. Part of her duties of putting me first involves taking care of the kids when they need something. That is still serving me.
4. Withholding physical affection
Ahhhh. The common complaint in the marriages of ALL my friends lol. You ladies are just too tired. Or not feeling well. Or have a headache. Or any other of a hundred reasons why you are not in the mood to have sex with you man. Truth to tell, that gets tiresome to hear. Yes, it used to be the same in our marriage. Guess what? It also makes your man feel bad. Not wanted. Not desirable so he may just stop asking.
Now, in our relationship, this is no longer allowed. She is no longer in charge of being able to say yes or no. Now, this is not to say that I’m not tuned in to her needs and if she’s really not feeling well I make her have sex anyway. I’ve basically taken away her opportunity to find an excuse to say no. While on the outside this may seem mean, it has does wonder for our relationship and marriage. She is happier. I am happier.
5. Not speaking his language
Women drop hints and are subtle. Men say what they mean. Men usually do not look for the subtleties of what you are trying to tell him, but you still do that anyway…and get upset when we don’t figure it out.
No longer allowed in our relationship. She has many ways to communicate and they are all direct communication. Mostly there is just no arguing. She takes my lead and follows what I do. There are rules. There are protocols. There are things she is expected to do and that focuses her. When she does need to communicate she does so directly and when I ask her a question, she is expected to give me a direct, honest answer. That makes problem solving so much easier for us both.