New stuffie 

We have been going to the local amusement park this summer for our staycation. We got season passes and took the kids several times. Totally got our money’s worth. There is nothing better than listening to the kids laugh and see them smile. 

On one of the trips my youngest found this cute dinosaur stuffie. So I told her the last time we went we would get one. So yesterday she was so excited all day. When we went to get her dinosaur she brought over two to choose from. One was pterodactyl. They are my favorite. So I turned to Daddy and asked sweetly and He said yes!!!! So she got the brontosaurus and got this adorable new pterodactyl. 

Thank you Daddy. 

Her brontosaurus

They really are super cute. 

Dealing with sickness

I am currently going about a month of being sick. Still not sure what is wrong with me. Nothing serious (I hope) but the effect on me is enough that normal life is really thrown off. 

I am having trouble sleeping which leads to extreme fatigue. After an entire day of work this leaves me with no energy for anything else. I have been in pain which makes it difficult to move and be active. All this leads to a pretty horrible sex life and that is definitely taking a toll on mine and Angel’s mental well being. We both enjoy a very healthy sex life so this is very unnatural. 

Being sick I’ve not been myself so a lot of my dominance has suffered. Yes I’m still in control however my intensity and passion has suffered. Thank god that Angel knows her place and her tasks and that goes on without a hitch.  Damn she’s good. 

Still, it’s had an effect on her. On her happiness and her well being. This is probably one of the most difficult situations we can face.  We have already faced a lot of adversity in our relationship so we are ready for smooth sailing. 

Angel is certainly that. An angel that came into my life 20 years ago and keeps blessing it every day. 

Learning to silence the demons

It has been a long time since I have felt at peace. Felt minimal everyday stress. Felt like I could breath. Now I have a different problem. I have forgotten what this peace feels like and now all I can hear are my demons telling me I am not good enough. I am not a good friend. I am not a good wife. I am not a good mother. I don’t deserve to be happy.

It can be very hard to fight these things. Especially when you read other blogs and you see things and think why not me?

I have turned to Daddy for help and support. But I know I cannot be the only that fights these things. We need to build each other up. We need to support each other. But I have also learned that we cannot tell the person helping us how to do that. Everyone helps, supports and can be there in different ways. Just because it is not how we are there for others does not make it wrong. Loving each other means loving them for their efforts.

I am trying to listen to my heart more than my head but some days are easier than others.

Happy Saturday to you all. Thank you for listening to me and being here for me.