Day 10. Someone you need to let go or wish you didn’t know. 

To me this is really two questions. 

The person I need to let go……. Let go in not let you hurt me any more. Never stop loving. Never stop missing. Never stop wanting to see you. 

I’m glad this question came up. When I was writing Day 8 the last line I wrote spoke to me. 

All I want is her to love me for who I am. Not for who she thinks I should be.”

I do love you more than you know. I want you to reach your goals. Own a bakery. Finish culinary school. Be who you want to be. 

I want you to know that even though your hate us right now I love you. I always will. There is nothing any of my kids could do to change that. 

I am going to love you for who you are as I always have and try to support you and try not to change you. 

The person I wish I never met…..I wish we have never met that person who has torn our family apart. Who has left my heart and my family ruins. The selfish woman who lied to get what she needed. Maybe just maybe if she had not enters our life we might still have a complete family. 

Day 9 Someone who you didn’t want to let go, but just drifted 

I feel I am a good friend. I always put others first. I will do anything for my friends. I will find a way to help them however they need it. Friendships  change. 

I had a dear friend. One I could go to with anything. Our kids were close in age. We did a lot together. 

The she moved across the country. We stayed in contact for years. We went to visit them. Then life took over. Kids graduating. Hers getting married. Work. Life. We stopped taking daily. Then it was weekly. Then monthly. Now it’s rare. My closing my facebook has made it harder. 

I still love her. She means the world to me. I love her with all my heart. When we talk it’s like we haven’t missed a day. 

Day 8 someone who has made your life hell or treated you like shit. 

There is a list for this question. 

The woman I have blogged about before has done both. Made life hell and treated me like shit. 

My oldest is treating the family like shit right now and making life painful and treating us like shit. 

When I reread the question the fifth and sixth time the same person came to mind making life hell. 

My mom. I know she doesn’t mean to. I know she loves me. I know she has good intentions. 

My father passed away when I was young. My step-dad is an amazing man. He raised my younger brother and I as his own. He also has lived with a ghost their whole marriage. As a result so have I and my younger brother and younger sister. 

My brother looks like my dad. Talks, behaves, jokes all like my dad. He has always been my moms favorite. I know, I know parents don’t have a favorite, but when he is favored. Can do nothing wrong. Turns to him for support and advice that is what he is. 

There is no way to live up to anyone’s expectations when you cannot met them. When you are the wrong person. 

She tries her best. She listens and she tries to help but most of the time I’m told how to do things better. Her way. I am not her. We raised our kids different.  

All I want is her to love me for who I am. Not for who she thinks I should be. 

Day 7 Someone who has made your life worth living. 

This really isn’t someone. More like some people. 

First my love of my life. My best friend. My Daddy. My lover. My husband. Without Him I would be lost. I would be half a person. I wouldn’t have 3 amazing children. I wouldn’t have the happiness and peace I feel in my heart. 

Second is my oldest. Yes she is not loving is right now but she is my baby. She was my perfect baby. She holds a special place as all first born children do. We have gone through a lot with her with her illness. And now with her decision to leave home and not speak to us any more. I tell my kids all the time. I will always love you. No matter what. I just don’t have to like you all the time. I keep her in my prayers and I anxiously await the day she wants to be with us again. 

The there is my son. He is a comic. He is smart. He is athletic. He is musicly talented. It amazes me some days that I made him. He is a leader. He is calm and level headed.  He has my heart. My boy. I can’t wait to see what great things he accomplishes in his life. What a blessing he is. 

Then there is my baby. She is sassy. She is funny. She has the biggest heart I have ever seen. She brightens my days and makes me smile. Her ️hugs will fix anything. I know our family would not have been complete without her. 

Day 6 Something you hope you never have to do 

there is really only one thingi hope I never have to do. 

I never want to have to mourn the death of a child. 

I watched my grandmother mourn the loss of 2 of her kids. She is one of the strongest women I know. I am not sure how she was able to keep going after watching my father die of cancer then my Aunt died suddenly in a car accident. 

I am not sure I could bear the pain and agony of losing a child. My heart would more than break.