A Mother’s Heart ache
18 years 5 months ago I gave birth to the most amazing, beautiful, perfect baby girl. She was amazing. I could not believe we made her. We have the honor to raise her. I was so much fun to watch her at every milestone. The first time she rolled over. The first time she stood up. Her first step. Her first word. Her first day of school. Oh my, not ready for that!!!
Fast forward to 8. She is suffering from migraines. The doctors are not sure why. You take her to every doctor you can think of. The questions start…….why is my baby girl going through this. We get to age 12 and now her body is suffering. Pain everywhere. No real reason why. Again you take her to every doctor you can. You do research on your own. You watch as your 12 year old is x-rayed, have several MRIs, several cat scans. Things that a 12 year old should not go through. It takes 2 years….finally a diagnosis. Fibromyalgia. What???? Really!!!!???
You start all the research you can. What can we do? You try medications. You try diet. You try everything you can think of. She finishes her Jr high school time with half days. She cannot sit in call for too long. The pain meds she is on make her tired. So she alternates morning and afternoon. You finally fell like you have found a great combo. Medication, chiropractor, no strenuous activity. That last one is total poop for a teenager.
She starts high school. You visit the school and ask how to make her high career as low pain as possible. The school works with you. Attendance wise and books in the class room. The teachers are understanding and they work with you. You let her participate in marching band. She is on the flag line. She is talented and a beautiful dancer and performer. Some performances are incredibly hard on her. She ends up in bed and sleeping the next day.
You do all you can to make her comfortable. Fast forward and OMG!!!! Graduation!!!! Yes!!! But what most don’t know is that she has been fighting a huge demon. One that has beat the strongest people. She is cutting and has thought about and tried suicide. Thankfully unsuccessfully. We get to that amazing day!!! You get watch her walk across that stage and receive her diploma.
Now during the last year of high school her parents opened their hearts, home and family to a woman who claimed to be abused. Who claimed to need help. Who claimed to love her parents? She moved in with her little boy. For the most part it was a peaceful time but it was not long (maybe 30 days) before the tantrums from an adult woman started. We should have known after the first one that it would end badly and she had to go. But we thought after we talked to her and calmed her down that she would be ok. We were wrong. She was and is an amazing manipulator. When she realized that her desire to tear a marriage apart was not going to work she threw yet another tantrum. (Her 10th at least). Now my health from stress is being affected. My youngest daughter is stressed and needs help. So for the health and wellbeing of my family we tell her she has to find a place. We try to help but of course she freaks out and leaves hastily. All we asked was no contact with our kids.
My oldest starts college. Secretly communicates with the woman. Then that hated day!!!! She turns 18 and now I cannot do anything to protect her because she is an “adult”. She chooses to listen to the boyfriend and the woman. As a result they lie. They manipulate and they break hearts.
Here I sit on one of the most heart wrenching nights of my 18 years and 5 months with this amazing young lady. She has walked away from her family. Lied to her parents. Left her sister in tears. Chosen the boyfriend and this horrible woman over the people who have loved, cared for her, fought for her for years.
Everyone says she will be back. She will see the mistake she has made. She will see the horrible woman for the manipulator and user that she is. I am just not sure how long it will take for her to see it. All her father and I can do is pray, hope and wait for that time to come. With a broken heart and a broken family we wait. AND IT SUCKS!!!!!
I want her to know we love her!!!!! We want what is best for her!!!!!!